- Funny Casino Movie Quotes
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- Funny Gambling Quotes
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- Funny Casino Quotes
Gambling is, first and foremost, a form of entertainment. From the bells and whistles of the slot machines to the dazzling colors and shapes of table games, everything is designed to delight you.
Land-based casinos keep the party going with bars and restaurants with live music. If you’re playing online, your excitement is growing bigger whenever you’re being showered with loyalty points.
- A collection of short, funny jokes related to Gambling and Casinos!” Gambling, Casino Jokes - Short, Funny Jokes and One-Liners That Will Make You Laugh! Quick, Funny Jokes!
- The 50 Greatest Gambling Quotes Ever. There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one – Jack Yelton. The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket – Kin Hubbard.
Discover and share Funny Bingo Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.
Casinos, it seems, both land-based and online, have found the cure for boredom.
While gambling has been notoriously associated with addiction, recent studies show that most players are addicted to the feeling of fun that comes with gambling. Medical researchers estimate that only 5 to 8 percent of all gamblers show evidence of addiction. Most of us are there to have a good time.
Maybe you simply love getting a buzz of excitement from playing Wheel of Fortune or Double Diamon. Perhaps you like the thrill provided by Russian roulette or you enjoy strategizing during Poker and Blackjack with a delicious cocktail in hand.
Maybe you simply love getting a buzz of excitement from playing Wheel of Fortune or Double Diamon. Perhaps you like the thrill provided by Russian roulette or you enjoy strategizing during Poker and Blackjack with a delicious cocktail in hand.
![Funny Casino Quotes Funny Casino Quotes](https://www.brainyquote.com/photos_tr/en/m/martinlutherkingjr/105087/martinlutherkingjr1-2x.jpg)
Winning might not be guaranteed in a casino, but that’s exactly what makes you come back.
Comedian Chico Marx best explained this: “If I lose today, I can look forward to winning tomorrow, and if I win today, I can expect to lose tomorrow. A sure thing is no fun.”
Interestly enough, you tend to feel happy even when you’re losing. Several studies discovered that losing money after visiting a casino doesn’t make the overall experience less enjoyable. “A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope.” – William Bolitho
Like Marx, many other famous figures had an opinion about gambling.
Most of them found humor in losing and the changing nature of luck.
“If there weren’t luck involved, I would win every time,” said professional poker player, Phil Hellmuth.
Most of them found humor in losing and the changing nature of luck.
“If there weren’t luck involved, I would win every time,” said professional poker player, Phil Hellmuth.
We’ve gathered some of the funniest quotes about gambling from tens of notorious people including ancient philosophers like Publilius Syrus, scientists like Albert Einstein, and actors like Paul Newman.
Whether you’re just dipping your toes into the gambling waters or you’re a die-hard casino player, these lines will put a smile on your face.
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“Gambling is the future on the internet. You can only look at so many dirty pictures.” – Simon Noble
“You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky
“Nine gamblers could not feed a single rooster.”– Yugoslav Proverb
“Eat your betting money but don’t bet your eating money.” – Unknown
“True luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table; luckiest is he who knows just when to rise and go home.” – John Milton Hay
“The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.” – Wilson Mizner
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“Gambling is not a vice, it is an expression of our humanness. We gamble. Some do it at the gaming table, some do not. You play, you win, you play, you lose. You play.” – Jeanette Winterson
“The better the gambler, the worse the man.” – Publius Syrus
“The guy who invented poker was bright, but the guy who invented the chip
was a genius.” – Julius Weintraub.
was a genius.” – Julius Weintraub.
“Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.” –Samantha Bee
“It’s hard to walk away from a winning streak, even harder to leave the table when you’re on a losing one.” – Cara Bertoia
“Quit while you’re ahead. All the best gamblers do.” – Baltasar Gracián y Morales
“A gambler never makes the same mistake twice. It’s usually three or more times.” – Terry Murphy
“A gambler plays even when the odds are immutable and against him.” – Roger “Lou Krieger” Lubin
“Sitting there, it is impossible to change your luck. But, you can always change the machine you are at!” ― James Hauenstein
“The greatest risk is not taking one.” – Tim Fargo
“The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice so pleasurable that I assume it must be evil.” ― Heywood Hale Broun
“One of the healthiest ways to gamble is with a spade and a package of garden seeds.” ― Dan Bennett
“If you ain’t just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich, or you haven’t studied the games enough.”— Terrence “VP Pappy” Murphy
“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” ― Seneca
“The house doesn’t beat the player. It just gives him the opportunity to beat himself.” – Nick Dandalos
“Luck always seems to be against the man who depends on it.” ―
Unknown Author
Unknown Author
“There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.” – Jack Yelton
“If there weren’t luck involved, I would win every time.” – Phil Hellmuth
“A man’s gotta make at least one bet a day, else he could be walking around lucky and never know it.” – Jimmy Jones
“The only man who makes money following the races is the one who does it with a broom and shovel.” – Elbert Hubbard
“Gambling is the great leveller. All men are equal at cards.” – Nikolai Gogol
“Gambling with cards or dice or stocks is all one thing. It’s getting money without giving an equivalent for it.” – Henry Ward Beecher
“Gambling is an act of faith of gamblers. Prophecy is an act of faith of the saints.” – Toba Beta
“Luck, bad if not good, will always be with us. But it has a way of favoring the intelligent and showing its back to the stupid.” – John Dewey
“Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who say he is, is either a liar or doesn’t play poker.” – Alfred Alvarez
Funny Casino Movie Quotes
“There are two great pleasures in gambling: that of winning and that of losing.”— French Proverb
“To be a poker champion, you must have a strong bladder.” – Jack McClelland
“A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.” – Artie Lange
“Gambling operates under the premise that greed can be satisfied by luck.” Rita – Mae Brown
“If I lose today, I can look forward to winning tomorrow, and if win today, I can expect to lose tomorrow. A sure thing is no fun.” – Chico Marx
“If I lose today, I can look forward to winning tomorrow, and if win today, I can expect to lose tomorrow. A sure thing is no fun.” – Chico Marx
“A Gentleman is a man who will pay his gambling debts even when he knows he has been cheated.” – Leo Tolstoy
“In order to be a successful gambler you have to have a complete disregard for money.” – Doyle Brunson
“If you must play, decide upon three things at the start: the rules of the game,
the stakes, and the quitting time.” – Chinese Proverb
the stakes, and the quitting time.” – Chinese Proverb
“You cannot beat a roulette table unless you steal money from it.” – Albert Einstein
“When I was young, people called me a gambler. As the scale of my operations increased I became known as a speculator. Now I am called a banker. But I have been doing the same thing all the time.” – Sir Ernest Cassel
“You don’t gamble to win.You gamble so you can gamble the next day.” – Bert Ambrose
“At gambling, the deadly sin is to mistake bad play for bad luck.” – Ian Fleming
“Someone once asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“I wonder what inspires gamblers. Is it the adventure or the love of laziness?” – Paul Bamikole
“Las Vegas is the only place I know where money really talks – It says, Goodbye.” – Frank Sinatra in “The Joker Is Wild”
“The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.” – Ambrose Bierce
“To get it right, be born with luck or else make it. Never give up. A little money helps, but what really gets it right is never facing the facts.” – Ruth Gordon
“Gambling is a way of buying hope on credit.” – Alan Wykes
“A dollar won is twice as sweet as a dollar earned.” – Paul Newman
“Poker is a lot like sex, everyone thinks they are the best, but most don’t have a clue what they are doing.” – Dutch Boyd
“I can never gain something without losing everything I had.” – Nadia Scrieva
Golden dragon slot machine. “The less you bet, the more you lose when you win.” – Bob Nastanovich
“I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That’s how I lost my mind.” – Steve Allen
“Gambling is the son of avarice and the father of despair.” – French Proverb
“Gambling has brought our family together. We had to move to a smaller house.”– Tommy Cooper
“If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting.” – Benjamin Franklin
“If you can’t spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.” – Mike McDermott
“Poker is a hard way to make an easy living.” – Doyle Brunson
“All the evidence shows that God was actually quite a gambler, and the universe is a great casino, where dice are thrown, and roulette wheels spin on every occasion.” – Stephen Hawking
“I can’t believe that God plays dice with the universe.” – Albert Einstein
“Gambling is part of the human condition. I love it. I have the best time gambling. I’ve been winning fortunes, and I’ve been losing them.” – Jerry Lewis
“In gambling, the many must lose in order that the few may win.” – George Bernard Shaw
“My advice to the unborn is, don’t be born with a gambling instinct
unless you have a good sense of probabilities.” – Jack Dreyfus
unless you have a good sense of probabilities.” – Jack Dreyfus
“One of the worst things that can happen to you in life is to win a bet on a horse
at an early age.” – Danny McGoorty
at an early age.” – Danny McGoorty
“No dog can go as fast as the money you bet on him.” – Bud Flanagan
“In the casino, the cardinal rule is to keep them playing and to keep them coming back. The longer they play, the more they lose, and in the end, we get it all.” – Robert De Niro in “Casino”
Catchy Gambling Phrases
“If I had the money and the drinking capacity, I’d probably live at a roulette table and let my life go to hell.” – Michael Ventura
“Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun.” – Lady Gaga
“The slot machines sit there like young courtesans, promising pleasures undreamed of, your deepest desires fulfilled, all lusts satiated.” – Frank Scoblete
“The subject of gambling is all encompassing. It combines man’s natural play instinct with his desire to know about his fate and his future.” – Franz Rosenthal
“At the gambling table, there are no fathers and sons.” – Chinese Proverb
“I like to play blackjack. I’m not addicted to gambling. I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.” – Mitch Hedberg
“I want people to understand, gambling is not a bad thing if you do it within the framework of what it’s meant to be, which is fun and entertaining.” – Michael Jordan
“There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians.”– Georges Pompidou
“Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.” – Unknown Author
“The best throw of the dice is to throw them away.” – English Proverb
“Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then takes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.” – Mark Twain
“The roulette table pays nobody except him that keeps it. Nevertheless a passion for gaming is common, though a passion for keeping roulette tables is unknown.” – George Bernard Shaw
“In most betting shops you will see three windows marked “Bet Here”, but only one window with the legend “Pay Out”.” – Jeffrey Bernard
“I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.” – Thomas Jefferson
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gamblingQuotes about gamblingSavingIf you're a gambler, quote us on this: The odds are you'll love these funny gambling quotes. Who wouldn't go double-down on a page of funny quotes amount gamblers and betting? No crapping out here!
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Funny Gambling Quotes .. |
'Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.' 'I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.' 'The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.' 'The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice so pleasurable that I assume it must be evil.' 'Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich—something for nothing. ' 'Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.' 'In Louisiana, we don't bet on football games, we bet on whether a politician is going to be indicted or not.' 'Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.' 'I don't gamble, because winning a hundred dollars doesn't give me great pleasure. But losing a hundred dollars pisses me off.' 'Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on you face.' 'Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.' 'No wife can endure a gambling husband—unless he is a steady winner.' 'A Gentleman is a man who will pay his gambling debts even when he knows he has been cheated.' 'If you ain't just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich or you haven't studied the games enough.' |
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Casino Sayings
Funny Gambling Quotes .. |
'When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.' 'If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.' 'In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.' 'Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.' |
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Funny Gambling Quotes .. |
'There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.' 'The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.' 'No dog can go as fast as the money you bet on him.' 'The best throw with the dice is to throw them away.' 'In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure to go straight to the Keno Lounge. Nothing ever gets hit there.' 'Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.' |
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Funny Gambling Quotes .. |
'I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.' 'A race track is a place where windows clean people.' 'Nobody has ever bet enough on a winning horse.' 'You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.' 'One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.' 'A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time.' 'Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people.' |
Funny Gambling Quotes
Funny Gambling Quotes .. |
From 101 Dalmatians: The Series Cruella de Vil: 'Memo to myself: Give up gambling. It's wrong.. especially if you lose money.' From Star Trek Spock: 'Captain, I'm beginning to understand why you Earthmen enjoy gambling. No matter how carefully one computes the odds of success, there is still a certain exhilaration in the risk.' From Casablanca Captain Renault, pretending to be surprised during a Nazi inspection of Rick's: 'I'm shocked—shocked!—to find that gambling is going on in here!' AMAZON PURCHASES FROM HERE HELP SUPPORT THIS FREE SITE. THANKS! Search Amazon.com for more.. |
Funny Gambling Quotes .. |
'I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.' 'Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.' 'God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.' 'One of the healthiest ways to gamble is with a spade and a package of garden seeds.' |
Silly Sayings To Make You Laugh
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Funny Casino Quotes Images
RESILIENT DUKES AND THE HAZARDS OF BOSS ENERGY HOG Is your home town gambling that gasoline and diesel won't experience future shortages? That electricity outages and disruptions to critical services will be minimal? Probably. Find out what they SHOULD be doing in our article about fuel shortages and power outages. |
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CATEGORY: HISTORY, FINANCIAL — 14.FEB.2015 Peak Prosperity Either We Break the Bankster Alliances or They Will Break Us — Nomi Prins reviews the historical circumstances that led to the formation of the big-bank-controlled Federal Reserve; that is, how the financial foxes were put in charge of the public's hen house. She then explains how many rich US elites in the late 1800s/early 1900s thought that keeping money flowing and not being too draconian helped the masses, which in turn helped the elites maintain the system that provided the wealth. But some bankers were not of a mind to play the game this way, and Louis Brandeis warned: 'We must break the Money Trust or the Money Trust will break us.' Nomi Prins says we are headed into a new era of high banker mischief, vast income gaps, and reckless behavior among leaders and elites. She says we must take heed of Brandeis' warning and take down the banker-corporate-politician-industrial complex. Go to page | Download/listen 52:45 GP comment: I have passed on a couple of Prins interviews earlier this year, but here she is starting to step outside the envelope and address the bankster power structure as the criminal enterprise that it truly is. Original Show Pub Date: 31.Jan.2015 CATEGORY: MEDIA, EMPIRE — 13.FEB.2015 Democracy Now Endless War, Endless War Spin — As Obama talks about a new major cycle of the war on terror—this time against the Islamic State—Norman Solomon of the Institute for Public Accuracy says Obama talks about not being interested in 'endless war' but is doing more than any previous president to engage the US in exactly that. Solomon also says Brain Williams' worst lies about war were not his exaggerations of his personal experiences reporting from danger zones but rather his parroting the war propaganda of both the Bush and Obama administrations and his failure to challenge any aspect of the corrupt endless-war agenda. Of course, all the big names in media did the same. Finally, Solomon talks about the case of CIA whistleblower Jeffrey Sterling, who has been persecuted for exposing a dodgy CIA operation to the Senate Intelligence Committee. Watch A | Watch B | Watch C Download/listen 17:18 GP comment: Solomon is very good here. The title of his book gives some indication of his tone: War Made Easy: How Presidents and Pundits Keep Spinning Us to Death. Original Show Pub Date: 12.Feb.2015 ~~ Original story titles .. Endless War? Obama Sends Congress Expansive Anti-ISIS Measure 6 Months After Bombing Began ~~ Brian Williams Suspended for False Iraq Tale, But Media's Real Scandal is the War Lies Spun Daily ~~ Was Jeffrey Sterling Trial a Gov't Effort to Divide Investigative Journalists & Whistleblowers? CATEGORY: EMPIRE — 11.FEB.2015 Uprising Understanding the Roots of Terrorism—Theirs and Ours — Much of President Obama's record-breaking defense budget proposal will fund proxy wars around the globe. The US is training and arming Sunni tribal groups in Iraq to fight ISIS, and it may soon begin supplying weapons to the Ukrainian military against Russia. Drone strikes continue to take their toll in Yemen and elsewhere. Meanwhile, a jingoistic film called ‘American Sniper’ glorifies killing and demonizes Muslims with virtually no historical context. Chris Hedges says most Americans accept the myth of American rightness and do-goodism while ignoring the obvious parallels in the terrorism practiced by the US and the terrorism practiced by ISIS and their ilk. He says the empire is not only busy abroad but is also quietly pre-positioning suppressive-force capabilities on the home front, in preparation for the inevitable pushback from the masses as their impoverishment worsens. Go to page | Download/listen 27:32 GP comment: Many excellent points in this one. Original Show Pub Date: 09.Feb.2015 MORE Don't gamble with your news sources. Get audio clips on what's REALLY going on with Grinning Planet's biweekly downloadable audio news feed. |
Funny Casino Quotes
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